It's Raining Free Books!

I work in the public education system (cue ominous music). Lately there's been a workplace-wide rash of midsummer office clean-outs, resulting in boxes full of books marked "Free to good home" mysteriously popping up.

Two weeks ago, right before I went on vacation, I came across one such box in the building where the English classes are taught. To go to the snack bar in the foyer. For iced tea, honest! Since I'm applying to go back to school for literature/creative writing, I thought that this might be a positive sign! I walked away with a copy of a creative writing textbook. A Free Professional Copy, mind.

Yesterday I was in the building where the art classes are taught. To go to the vending machines. To get bottled water, honest! Sitting on the floor was yet another box stuffed full of old books. When I went over to check it out, I discovered it was full of old books on needlepoint! I was pretty excited because I do needlepoint, and I love buying old (1950-1980s) books on needlepoint. These were all in excellent condition, except for one book by needlepoint designer Erica Wilson, which had water damage. The whole book had its pages all stuck together. I selected three books on cross stitch and needlepoint. There were at least 10 others still in the box. To be honest, this box didn't have a sign on it that said Free to good home," so I may have just swiped a bunch of books from someone who might be coming back for them. I'll have to go down and get some Fritos later on and check to see if the box is still there.

What I'm wondering is, where did the needlepoint books come from? The English texts i can understand being cleared out by faculty members. Someone must have cleaned out at home and brought a box in. Whatever the case, I've scored some free books that I would have paid, oh, three, four dollars apiece for at a used bookstore!

Gripes du jour:

Someone keeps interfering with the Emily the Strange and skeleton boy and girl from The Corpse Bride action figures on my desk. The little pieces like the cat and stuff are missing, presumably knocked behind the desk, only I can't see them on the floor. It's a tight fit to get behind there. Also, my short story got rejected by the literary magazine I submitted it to. As a potential English grad student, let me just say, Bummer.

Doctor Who? Getting better, slowly. I have since pronounced the William Shakespeare episode unwatchable. The (new) New New York episode? Slightly better. My favorite part? Martha's Oh S*** moment when she realizes she doesn't even know the Doctor, really. Well, who does, eh?

Martha: I don't even know who he is (or something like that)
Carjacker/kidnapper girl: So that means our only hope is--
Me: A casual acquaintance?!
Carjacker/kidnapper girl: a total stranger? That's no good.

Ah, but it is good, kidnapper girl. It's very good, indeed.

Tomorrow: the Daleks take over the Chrystler Building. Can't wait!

Space Rhinos, Bad Extras, & Questionable Science

Last Friday was the (finally!) double header season premiere of Dr. Who in the U.S. More David Tennant hotness, some Catherine Tate wackiness, and some Freema Argeman, uh, newness!
This opinionated post will contain spoilers. These are my thoughts on the first two episodes. And, please, spare me any "it's only a tv show" comments, if you don't mind. Just picture my tongue firmly planted in my cheek. So I will dutifully insert a spoiler space. But I'm pretty sure anyone on either side of the Atlantic who wanted to watch Dr. Who at all has probably seen it by now. Nevertheless...
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The Runaway Bride was pretty cool. I like the Dr. Who Christmas specials, and this year David Tennant didn't spend most of the episode in a coma so that was a definite plus. Donna was incredibly irritating and yes, I have to say it, a little thick. So let's review: The Doctor wants Donna to travel with him, but only wants to take Martha along for one ride?

Lance: Even though the Doctor looks at Donna like she's being too cruel, yes, in my opinion, Lance did deserve what he got for betraying her. Hello? He was also sacrificing the entire human race to the mean giant spider lady?!

Racnoss (??) Empress: Mean giant spider lady funny. Maybe it was intentional. most of the aliens in Dr. Who's entire history have been unintentionally funny, so I'm not sure. Whatever the case, she made me laugh. She was waaay over the top, freaky as all get-out, and I loved the 10-packs-a-day raspiness of her voice. I like Sarah Parrish. The portrayal probably wasn't meant to be intentionally funny, but either way, you can tell she definitely had a blast.

Smith and Jones was pretty cool. I love when the aliens are weird/spooky looking. That's why I like the Cybermen better than the salt shakers-I mean Daleks. The heavily armored Judoon were creepy cool in their heavy black spacesuits and 6-inch high Creepers. At first.

There are three things about this episode that I couldn't quite get over. Hint: See title of post.

1) Rhino aliens. Why rhinos? Are they aware they resemble non-sentient earth animals?! Would they flock to all of Earth's zoos in order to free their bretheren, then blast the entire zookeeping staff because "justice is swift?" Would they find Doc Martens more comfortable than Creepers?

2) Bad extras. OK people, imagine you're sitting in a lounge one minute, the next minute, Oh my God, the entire hospital is on the moon! You look out the window. You react. Okayyyy and....ACTION!

The extras reaction to being on the moon made me laugh. I don't know, I just thought they were funny. And Martha? I'll suspend my belief and just accept that she didn't freak out. Cos I can tell Martha is going to kick a**. Girl, you went to the moon and back in a day, yet you're together enough to make it to your brother's birthday party on time? Rock.

3) The Doctor's Revival and Other Scientific Oddities. Now, I'm not a doctor, but if someone dies from a loss of blood, would CPR really be enough to revive them? Wouldn't they need a transfusion? And don't get me started on how the hospital's power supply was still working on the moon. The entire building's removal left a giant crater. So at some point wouldn't all the underground plumbing and electrical lines, etc., have been severed? I'm sure everyone would say, "yes, but the bubble the Judoon created to keep the air in also enabled all the systems to keep functioning." Fine.

I can't wait to meet William Shakespeare!

Who! What? When!?

Last night, finally, I received confirmation of something I've been waiting for with baited breath for months: the season premiere of Dr. Who on Sci Fi!! The internet rumor mill had the US premiere of season three starting on July 6th. I saw a commercial last night whilst watching Ghost Hunters, and July 6th it is! Now, I've been a fan of Dr. Who since the early 90s, when, thanks to cable, I could finally catch the classic series on public television. When I was a kid (and I'm not telling you which decade that was) I could make out some of the Tom Baker/Peter Davidson episodes via an extremely fuzzy reception. Remember when the Dr. and Tegan went to Amsterdam?! That was good times...

Fast forward a decade or so and, behold! Sylvester McCoy and Sophie Aldred in all their glorious cable television glory!

Oddly, I was unaware that BBC revived the series until I found out about it via, of all things, a knitting forum! I thought Christopher Eccleston was an odd choice for the Doctor--until I watched an episode. No sooner had the 9th doctor found a place in my heart when, bam, he regenerated. Helloooooo number 10!! I don't know why I find him so irresistible: it could be the suit and Chucks combo. Or is it the vintage overcoat? The sideburns are definitely part of it.

Oh my God! Yahoo music is playing "Make A Circuit With Me" by the Pole Cats. It's been over 20 years since I've heard that song...must rate song..."Can't Get Enough"...There. But I digress.

The Brits (if any read this blog) have already sat through the entire season. In fact, Dr. Who is so popular in Britain that the season finale was screened on giant outdoor TV screens in London because the Gay Pride march was scheduled for the same time and so many participants didn't want to miss it!

So, yeah, next Friday is going to be a big night for me. Yes, I'm aware of how sad that is! "The Runaway Bride" or whatever. There are two things, however, that I find annoying about being an American Who fan:

1) We're an entire season behind Britain. Since I like to peruse the BBC's official Dr. Who website, this means I've completely spoiled every major development, plot twist, guest star appearance, you name it, for myself.. You could say I've "mastered" the art of the spoiler. Those familiar with the classic series will know what I'm talking about...

2) Smug, superior British fans who complain about all the "new fans" on the Sci Fi Channel's Dr. Who forum. Don't you people have enough British forums to post on without lording it (no pun intended. Time-Lording over it?!) over us Yanks? Please remember, classic series Dr. Who viewing for most Americans has been sporadic at best. Please don't flood an American forum with complaints about new fans. Just be glad there are that many more of us!

On an un-Dr.Who-related note:

Two days after my post about McSweeney's big inventory sell-off (see below) USA Today's Pop Candy column ran a piece on the very topic! Is Whitney Matheson stalking me?

Books No Problem. Dr. Who Action Figure? No Can Do.

Lately I've been placing lots of orders with companies across the pond. Those lovely folks in the U.K. are more than happy to send the Anglophilic American a delightful arrray of whatever books, paper goods, foodstuffs and cross-stitch kits he or she may desire. But try to order a Dr. Who action figure? Problem.

Last December I placed an order with amazon.uk. I ordered the Dr. Who 2007 calendar. Then I clicked the purchase button on the Tenth Doctor in Brown Suit (with sonic screwdriver) and held my breath. Success--or so I thought. I was very excited about the prospect of finally having my own Ten action figure in my hot little hands--until I got to the checkout section. The action figure would not go through because of licensing agreements. Only a few European countries outside the UK can order British toys! I guess I should have expected that, but come on: who in the US is going to make any decent Dr. Who products, am I right people?!

Needless to say, I was a tad disappointed. I was further disappointed when I received the Dr. Who calendar. All the photos, except for August, were of all the butt-ugly aliens from each episode. There were a few tiny pictures of the Doctor, one or two of Rose, and none of the supporting characters we came to know and love during seasons one and two. *sob* I miss Jax!

I was so mad I posted a negative review under the "Be the first to review this product!" banner. I was assured the review would appear shortly. Curiously, when I checked in a couple of days later, the "Be the first to review this product!" banner had been put back up. Sneaky!

To wit: Americans can order this:

but not this:

Luckily, my local comic book shop got a small batch of the action figures a couple of months ago. I was thinking of buying the cyberman as well, but I don't want to start collecting a lot of junk again. Though, how cool would a cyberman action figure be in a photo for my knitting blog? He could be shaking his fist at my half-finished sock!

McSweeney's Needs Your Help!

Rather recently, I became aware of a great independent publishing concern called McSweeney's. Based in San Diego, they publish the literary/music magazines McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, The Believer and Wholphin. In addition, they publish many many books ranging from poetry to literary criticism to humor. With illustrious names such as Nick Hornby, Dave Eggers, and Amy Sedaris among their semi- or regular contributors, these gloriously designed magazines are a feast for the eyes as well as the brain. Not to mention the ears: The Believer's much anticipated music issue always comes with a CD bursting with fresh talent paired with established acts.

Recently, Mcsweeney's distributor filed for bankruptcy. The publishers took a huge hit and are now struggling to get back on their feet. So by now you're all probably asking yourselves," How can all this suffering benefit me, personally?" Why, you can benefit by visiting McSweeney's in order to take advantage of their inventory sell-off. Almost everything they sell, including subscriptions, is discounted. They're famous for their book bundles and magazine bundles. Right now I'm eyeing the Music Bundle: three past music issues of Believer, three CDs, all for $19.60, reduced from $28. Of course, right before they announced their sell-off, I made my first purchase with them--the Nick Hornby bundle ($15.40, reduced from $22.00).

Please go to their website and check out all the cool things they have. Once you've been there, you'll marvel over the sheer number of indispensible objects they have to tempt the discriminating buyer. After all, what better time than now to finally buy that tee shirt you've been eyeing? You know, the one with a silhouette of a stag riding a motorcycle? (I'm ordering one as soon as I get paid on Friday!)

You're probably wondering how you ever lived without it.

Pirates and Ogres and Wizards, oh my!

I've seen two "summer blockbusters" in the past three weeks. I usually wait until crowds thin out a little before going to the movies, lest I run screaming from the theater in the throes of a claustrophobia-induced panic attack. But my overwhelming desire to see Shrek and Pirates made me throw caution--and a small dose of xanax--to the wind!

I went to see Shrek the Third on its opening weekend. For some strange reason, it failed to register in my brain that Shrek is primarily a kid's movie. Yeah, there's nothing like going to the movies alone because you can't find anyone to go with you only to sit in a theater packed with screaming children. Personal highlights: the small boy next to me who kept kicking me; his mother who kept asking me what was happening onscreen and which princess was which because she couldn't follow the plot; the shrieks of laughter (from the kids) every time Shrek said the word "poop," and the theater-wide "AAAAWWWWWW!" when Puss in Boots did the sad kitty face thing. OK, I'm guilty of the last highlight.

I had to sit through a bunch of lame, kid-oriented previews. None of them was Harry Potter. But, sweet merciful Lord, I did get to see the preview for Bratz: The Movie. As God is my witness: if I ever have to sit through anything in which the term "BFFs" is being used without a sense of irony again...

But I loved Shrek the Third. I'd go see it again once the crowds die down.

Last weekend I saw Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End. The theater was crowded but there was breathing room! Shrek was still doing a brisk business. Johnny Depp was hot, Keith Richards did a good job in his cameo, and Kiera Knightly kicked butt. Word to the wise: If you go see Pirates, stay through the ending credits. There's an extra scene when the credits are over.

I had to sit through a bunch of lame previews. None of them was Harry Potter. Where are they showing Harry Potter previews? I've seen them online, but nothing beats a big screen and surround sound.

Oh well. Next month I'll go see the movie. On the opening weekend. The theater probably won't be filled with screaming kids, since the story gets darker with each movie/book, but you never know. I'm hoping Voldemort scares them away.

For Your Consideration

Something interesting I discovered last night: Microsoft Word's spell check flags the word "Kenobi" but not the word "Obi-Wan."

Discuss.